Friday, March 03, 2006

Discouraged, dejected and down

It has to be the winter blahs. After all, that is what I told Risa a few days ago. Maybe it's that SAD stuff...not enough sunlight. Given that I am taking Lexapro and have been for months, I wouldn't think it's SAD or any other form of depression. Lord knows I have suffered with both PPD and regular, full-blown depression off and on for the past decade. I'd think I would recognize it. Blaming Old Man Winter, yup, that's what I'll do. Why? Because I am listless, bored and have start-itis in the worst way. The sewing area of the bedroom still looks like Joann Fabrics barfed all over the place, no organization at all, everything is just tossed in heaps. The knitting corner of the living room is somewhat neat but still discouraging to me at the moment.

Some time ago, we used AOL as our ISP and that gave me access to a whole community of boards geared towards crafters. Quilters, knitters, you name it, AOL had a board for it. Only problem was, many were filled with snobs. Yarn snobs, pattern snobs, snobs who looked down on the self-taught such as myself. I have never been able to shake the feeling that because I am self-taught for the most part and because I use what I can afford instead of blowing the budget and starving my family, I am somehow a less than worthy knitter, quilter and all around person. It frustrates me that often I cannot afford to rush out and purchase the yarn I am yearning to try or the latest quilting gadget (still lusting for an Alto's Quilt Cut system along with a longarm). Should I let that stand in my way of being creative? Of course not! Does it just the same? Hell yes! With the close of the Knitting Olympics, I have seen some to-dye for colorwork garments, several which were first projects. Do they fill me with envy? Yes but in the very best way...that little spark which lights the bonfire. Someday, hopefully this year, I will get to order the knitpicks Palette sampler and work on some colorwork.

Other inspiring events occuring here at Chez Duck: my father is working on an extension table for Athena the Bernina machine extraordinaire. This excites me to a new level. Finally, I will have enough room to really quilt as I want without suffering from arm strain! My father is a very talented woodworker, carpenter and construction guru. He is also a great guy, wonderful grandfather and terrific dad. When this table is done, bragging will commence.

I realize this post is filled with much babbling about nothing and one mis-used word. I intended to mis-use that word. I am not that stupid.


Blogger CrazyFiberLady said...


I've never liked the snobs either. It was only recently that I've been able to afford the "nice" yarns that I see posted on other's sites and I very much remember the snob posts on the boards. Your attitude is the right one. You shouldn't feel any less of a worthy crafter because you don't blow the family fortune on the "good" stuff. If the stuff works, then it is the good stuff.

I'm fighting startitis and while swearing to finish some of the stuff already started but none are nowhere near complete. Its pretty daunting.

Here's to hoping it is old man winter just messing with us!

3/03/2006 2:48 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

I hope old man winter leaves you alone soon! Sorry you are feeling down but you know, I find it admirable that you are putting priorities (family and food) over fiber. And btw, I'm self taught and ya know there isn't anything wrong with that! Have a great weekend!

3/03/2006 3:32 PM  
Blogger Life's a Stitch said...

Oh that colour palette sampler will be great therapy - something to brighten the gloomiest day. And it gives you something to dream about - it's already working.

Naive me, I thought most crafty people were self taught,

3/04/2006 10:08 AM  
Blogger madcapmum said...

You know, I find the same thing as a quilter. I self-taught out of magazines from the time I was a teenager, and then took a couple classes in bindings and borders a few years ago. I didn't realize til I took those classes just how bad the snobbery was. It's not enough to make something that's pretty and will stand up to the abuse of daily living. It has to be PERFECT, right down to the 1/32"! And did you know that quilts are for the wall?

Forget that! Since when did obsessive compulsive become the healthy norm? Quilting (and knitting) were to keep the family warm, eliminate waste, and hopefully inject some practical beauty into a hard life. This lust for perfection is just another branch of our incredibly luxurious culture.

It never occurred to me to name my sewing machine. It's a Juki. The only name that immediately pops to mind is "Sukey", of course. I'll have to keep thinking about it.

3/04/2006 10:34 AM  
Blogger Tanya said...

I, too, am self taught (well, with a few words of advice from my mother and my aunts). I've never taken a quilting course and have no clue how to knit (though my mother insists she taught me - in which case it's strange that I still don't know how to do it...). I'd love to join a quilting group, but do fear the snobbery. I buy the cheapest fabrics I can - why pay $30 per metre instead of $3 per metre - and I USE my quilts (shock, horror). Maybe we self-taught people should turn the snobbery the other way around and look down on those that waste so much money needlessly....

3/06/2006 8:42 AM  
Anonymous Jan said...

I started quilting with a group of 5 women almost 20 years ago. I am a scrap quilter who takes advantages of the remnant bin and sales. The rest of the group travels miles and miles to those exclusive (and expensive) quilt shops where they buy all the latest designer's latest and most fashionable fabrics. They then cut them up and make almost identical quilts. I'm the outlaw, the renegade. I am proud. Since THEY are the norm and I am different, does that make ME the snob?

3/07/2006 9:59 AM  

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